How to deal with Mothers Day when it's all a bit difficult.
Lots of people love Mothers Day – it is a really important moment to celebrate our mums and thank them. But for many it is a really hard time. Some people reading or listening to this will immediately ‘get it’ and perhaps often feel they can’t say or express how they feel – for fear of taking away from the day itself.
With Mother’s Day often acting as a reminder for those that are grieving the death of a parent or child, it can often worsen feelings of loneliness and isolation, regardless of whether the experience is recent or not.
This year, Cruse Bereavement Support and Co-op Funeralcare, who, through their partnership, provide useful support year-round for those that may have suffered the loss of a loved one.
But for Mother’s Day specifically, advice for those who have lost a mother, grandmother, or child includes;
• Put yourself first – spend the day doing the things you enjoy, without feeling pressure to do anything you don’t want to.
• Put your feelings into words – Letter writing can help deal with grief, and writing down those feelings to a loved one that has died can help organise your thoughts
• Hold a memorial - Lighting a candle, planting a flower, or visiting a place which was special to your loved one can be a great way to maintain a bond with someone that has died
•Share their memory – whether it be getting together with family or friends, holding an event, or even setting up an online memorial page can be a great way to honour a loved one’s life
• Talk to someone – talking can help, and whilst it might not always be easy to talk to a family member or friend, you can contact the Cruse helpline
• Remember you are not alone – the online community centre Co-operate can help you to people and groups in your local area to help you to reconnect. There are specific pages for people looking for help in their community around grief (remember the Co-op funds thousand of initiatives nationwide)
Here’s the hard reality – 29% of us have lost someone in the last five - and 2% of us are grieving the loss of a child.
Almost half (48%) say this loss was sudden and unexpected – and the shock has impacted their mental health (31%)
We will all – at some time or another – have experienced loss and will be able to empathise that moments like Mother’s Day can bring it all coming back impacting our mental health.
We can all probably relate to the feeling of wanting to ‘withdraw’ – when going out and seeing people feels like too much – and very often this can then lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, regardless of whether the experience is recent or not.
Co-op and Cruse are also encouraging people to use Mother’s Day to check in on friends, colleagues and loved ones who might be struggling.